Soft Sculptures For the Hard Hearted

New & cuddly Croshame Christmas characters

I’m proud to introduce two new members of my Croshame family, each accompanied by their own irritating Christmas poem!

Braindeer

Braindeer

One reindeer too many. Oh, what to do?

Bring him round back and grab the shotgun, too.

Braindeer brain detailHe’s too pretty to eat, so no venison this year.

Instead let’s stuff and mount him, our little Braindeer.

Braindeer closeup tongueA holiday decoration bringing smiles left and right,

But they’ll be no visions of sugarplums for this guy tonight.

Braindeer with mantle 2

Over the mantle with care, in silence he’ll hang

Keeping watch over Christmas and bringing in 2014 with a bang.

(AVAILABLE AT THE ETSY STORE HERE)

Santa Clawed

Santa Clawed fully fullThis year St. Nick got quite a nasty surprise

When a flock of wild fowl went after his eyes.

Santa Clawed closeup long faceBirds circled his head as fast as a rocket

and tore his orbs out, each one plucked from its socket.

Santa Clawed face close upwardBlood-curdling screams came from his belly,

and his eyeholes, they glistened like cranberry jelly.

Santa Clawed backSo watch in the skies and mark my words:

Goodwill towards man is NOT for the birds.

(AVAILABLE IN THE ETSY STORE HERE)

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4 responses

  1. You are so awesome. :)

    December 6, 2013 at 12:11 pm

  2. You are so clever with all that you do. I’ve just finished knitting David Bowie as Aladdin Sane, and now I’m working on the knitted body suit. Thank you for your inspiration .

    December 7, 2013 at 2:02 am

  3. Xenolicker

    Sweetheart, you’re so cruel!

    December 8, 2013 at 8:53 pm

  4. The Bard

    “Out, vile jelly!”

    December 13, 2013 at 3:05 pm

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