Soft Sculptures For the Hard Hearted

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New & cuddly Croshame Christmas characters

I’m proud to introduce two new members of my Croshame family, each accompanied by their own irritating Christmas poem!

Braindeer

Braindeer

One reindeer too many. Oh, what to do?

Bring him round back and grab the shotgun, too.

Braindeer brain detailHe’s too pretty to eat, so no venison this year.

Instead let’s stuff and mount him, our little Braindeer.

Braindeer closeup tongueA holiday decoration bringing smiles left and right,

But they’ll be no visions of sugarplums for this guy tonight.

Braindeer with mantle 2

Over the mantle with care, in silence he’ll hang

Keeping watch over Christmas and bringing in 2014 with a bang.

(AVAILABLE AT THE ETSY STORE HERE)

Santa Clawed

Santa Clawed fully fullThis year St. Nick got quite a nasty surprise

When a flock of wild fowl went after his eyes.

Santa Clawed closeup long faceBirds circled his head as fast as a rocket

and tore his orbs out, each one plucked from its socket.

Santa Clawed face close upwardBlood-curdling screams came from his belly,

and his eyeholes, they glistened like cranberry jelly.

Santa Clawed backSo watch in the skies and mark my words:

Goodwill towards man is NOT for the birds.

(AVAILABLE IN THE ETSY STORE HERE)

Week long holiday sale on select Croshame items!

All this week get 10-20% off select items at the Croshame Etsy store! Just look under the shop section “SEASONAL ANXIETY SALE” for marked down pieces. (Sale will end next Monday, December 9th.)

Addam full 480

 

Honed for the Horror-days

Looking for the perfect way to avoid that big-box shopper stampede while giving a unique gift and supporting handmade art? Well, just in time for this year’s Christmas consumerism feeding frenzy, the Croshame Etsy store is being stocked for the holidays!

Stock Shelf 2

Most of the Croshame “classics” are either presently in stock or can be custom ordered and made especially for you and yours this season! I’m currently working on a couple of new Christmas-themed pieces that I will unveil shortly, as well as preparing to set up a week-long holiday sale closer to December.

I’m also accepting commissions this year, but keep in mind that special order requests can take some time to complete, so please try to get your orders in early to ensure they arrive in time for your particular celebratory occasion. Thanks everyone!

Etsy Banner

(Click the sassy new banner above to visit the store!)

Movie Still Halloween-day

In case you weren’t frightened enough this Halloween, check out this absolutely terrifying granny square sweater/wardrobe travesty from an episode of Roseanne!Roseanne Jackie sweater

Even Laurie Metcalf herself looks totally petrified by this horrifying fashion disaster.Roseanne Jackie 2

If only everyone could just be as creative with their costumes.

Happy Samhain, everyone!

Movie Still Monday: Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Some stills from the 1957 Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode “The Glass Eye” starring Miss Daisy herself, Jessica Tandy.

Alfred Hitchcock Pres 2Not only does this fantastic episode involve romance, ventriloquism, and a glass freakin’ eye, it also stars a very young Billy Barty and virtually unknown William Shatner!Alfred Hitchcock

Barty + Shatner + Tandy x Ventriloquism + Crochet ÷ Hitchcock = Happiness

Watch the episode here:

 

 

 

Movie Still Monday: Famous Afghans

Socialite Patricia Hearst is most famously known for being kidnapped by the radical guerilla group The Symbionese Liberation Army in the mid 1970s, held captive for several months against her will, and brainwashed into becoming a tool for their violently militant, left-wing cause.

Patty Hearst 1974

After myriad misadventures, crime sprees and rabble-rousing, Hearst was captured and imprisoned for over a year in a California correctional facility, during which time she was evaluated, analyzed and “deprogrammed.” During her time served, she suffered from malnutrition, a collapsed lung and much public ridicule and resentment.

Patty Hearst 1976

But through all her ordeals, Patti kept herself sane. How, you ask?

The power of crochet.

Patty Hearst

Just For the Record… Happy Anniversary

One of the greatest record stores in the country, Denver’s Twist and Shout Records, just celebrated their 25th anniversary! Being a former employee and huge fan of the store, I decided to make a token of my appreciation to the store owner, Paul Epstein, pictured below.

Paul-Epstein_Interior-Portrait1

Ladies and gents, it’s the Paul Doll!

Paul Doll full 2

He even comes with its own detachable (felt) vinyl record… in mint condition, of course!

Paul Doll closeup

Paul is not only a great guy and an awesome boss, but he also owns a really amazing store with many incredible and extremely knowledgeable employees ready to help you with even the most obscure questions. So if you’re in the Denver area, stop by and browse their magnificent collection of music, movies, books and toys. And hey… tell ‘em Croshame sent ya!

Paul and the Doll