Wherein Sir Terry Bollea (AKA Hulk Hogan) encounters a melon-thumping granny, ripe for the picking. Bet you can tell she’s a granny from those squares she wears, huh? Huh? This seems like a typical case of Hollywood ageism mixed with some severe craft stereotyping… real crochet-cism in action! I mean, when will these pesky movie PA’s realize that crochet is ageless — and more importantly — that an afghan does NOT a shawl make?
Baphomet was a symbolic representation of a deity supposedly worshipped by the secretive order of the Knights Templar during the 11th century, and more recently adopted by the Church of Satan in their religious iconography. When I received a commission for a “cutesy-fied” crocheted Baphomet figure, I knew I’d seen other “Baby-Baph” type plushies by various artists before and wanted mine to be different than the others with some added Croshame flair and detail.
So based off of this 1856 illustration from Eliphas Levi…
It was then I set about conjuring my tiny being into this world. After donning a fetching black robe, playing around with a bit of yarn, and ending with a loud “Shemhamforash!”, there came forth from my hands the new horned God I dubbed
His arms, pointing both towards the sky and the ground, read “Solve” and “Coagula” (needle-felted into the crochet).
This literally translates into “dissolve” and “create,” but is also interpreted to signify the path of all knowledge:
“As above, so below.”
From his head, between the horns of virility, emerges a flaming torch (crafted from tufted yarn strands) — the magical light of universal equilibrium, natch.
Baphomet’s wings represent the flight of the liberated soul. (Of course you already gathered that from the hand-sewn felt, yes?)
Baphomet, ever the amazing androgyne, bears both crocheted female breasts and a needle-felted phallus, shown as a wingless caduceus representing eternal life.
His hoofed goat legs have wire inside so he can sit, cross-legged, or stand — as ritual dictates.
Baphomet is the light bearer clothed in the disguise of evil.
Evil and unbelievable cuteness!
I’m proud to introduce two new members of my Croshame family, each accompanied by their own irritating Christmas poem!
One reindeer too many. Oh, what to do?
Bring him round back and grab the shotgun, too.
Instead let’s stuff and mount him, our little Braindeer.
But they’ll be no visions of sugarplums for this guy tonight.
Over the mantle with care, in silence he’ll hang
Keeping watch over Christmas and bringing in 2014 with a bang.
(AVAILABLE AT THE ETSY STORE HERE)
When a flock of wild fowl went after his eyes.
and tore his orbs out, each one plucked from its socket.
and his eyeholes, they glistened like cranberry jelly.
Goodwill towards man is NOT for the birds.
(AVAILABLE IN THE ETSY STORE HERE)
Looking for the perfect way to avoid that big-box shopper stampede while giving a unique gift and supporting handmade art? Well, just in time for this year’s Christmas consumerism feeding frenzy, the Croshame Etsy store is being stocked for the holidays!
Most of the Croshame “classics” are either presently in stock or can be custom ordered and made especially for you and yours this season! I’m currently working on a couple of new Christmas-themed pieces that I will unveil shortly, as well as preparing to set up a week-long holiday sale closer to December.
I’m also accepting commissions this year, but keep in mind that special order requests can take some time to complete, so please try to get your orders in early to ensure they arrive in time for your particular celebratory occasion. Thanks everyone!
(Click the sassy new banner above to visit the store!)
If only everyone could just be as creative with their costumes.
Happy Samhain, everyone!
Some stills from the 1957 Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode “The Glass Eye” starring Miss Daisy herself, Jessica Tandy.
Barty + Shatner + Tandy x Ventriloquism + Crochet ÷ Hitchcock = Happiness
Watch the episode here: