New & cuddly Croshame Christmas characters

I’m proud to introduce two new members of my Croshame family, each accompanied by their own irritating Christmas poem!

Braindeer

One reindeer too many. Oh, what to do?

Bring him round back and grab the shotgun, too.

He’s too pretty to eat, so no venison this year.

Instead let’s stuff and mount him, our little Braindeer.

A holiday decoration bringing smiles left and right,

But they’ll be no visions of sugarplums for this guy tonight.

Over the mantle with care, in silence he’ll hang

Keeping watch over Christmas and bringing in 2014 with a bang.

(AVAILABLE AT THE ETSY STORE HERE)

Santa Clawed

This year St. Nick got quite a nasty surprise

When a flock of wild fowl went after his eyes.

Birds circled his head as fast as a rocket

and tore his orbs out, each one plucked from its socket.

Blood-curdling screams came from his belly,

and his eyeholes, they glistened like cranberry jelly.

So watch in the skies and mark my words:

Goodwill towards man is NOT for the birds.

(AVAILABLE IN THE ETSY STORE HERE)