Movie Still Monday

Movie Still Monday: Suburban Commando

Wherein Sir Terry Bollea (AKA Hulk Hogan) encounters a melon-thumping granny, ripe for the picking. Suburban CommandoBet you can tell she’s a granny from those squares she wears, huh? Huh? This seems like a typical case of Hollywood  ageism mixed with some severe craft stereotyping… real crochet-cism in action! I mean, when will these pesky movie PA’s realize that crochet is ageless — and more importantly — that an afghan does NOT a shawl make?

Movie Still Halloween-day

In case you weren’t frightened enough this Halloween, check out this absolutely terrifying granny square sweater/wardrobe travesty from an episode of Roseanne!Roseanne Jackie sweater

Even Laurie Metcalf herself looks totally petrified by this horrifying fashion disaster.Roseanne Jackie 2

If only everyone could just be as creative with their costumes.

Happy Samhain, everyone!

Movie Still Monday: Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Some stills from the 1957 Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode “The Glass Eye” starring Miss Daisy herself, Jessica Tandy.

Alfred Hitchcock Pres 2Not only does this fantastic episode involve romance, ventriloquism, and a glass freakin’ eye, it also stars a very young Billy Barty and virtually unknown William Shatner!Alfred Hitchcock

Barty + Shatner + Tandy x Ventriloquism + Crochet ÷ Hitchcock = Happiness

Watch the episode here:

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Movie Still Monday: Famous Afghans

Socialite Patricia Hearst is most famously known for being kidnapped by the radical guerilla group The Symbionese Liberation Army in the mid 1970s, held captive for several months against her will, and brainwashed into becoming a tool for their violently militant, left-wing cause.

Patty Hearst 1974

After myriad misadventures, crime sprees and rabble-rousing, Hearst was captured and imprisoned for over a year in a California correctional facility, during which time she was evaluated, analyzed and “deprogrammed.” During her time served, she suffered from malnutrition, a collapsed lung and much public ridicule and resentment.

Patty Hearst 1976

But through all her ordeals, Patti kept herself sane. How, you ask?

The power of crochet.

Patty Hearst

Movie Still Monday: Ramona

I grew up reading Beverly Cleary’s Ramona books pretty religiously, so when PBS released a television show version of the stories in 1988 starring a young Sarah Polley, I was super excited and watched every episode.

But little did I know that over 20 years later, I would be re-examining the show and caring more about her stuffed animals than the actual story line.Ramona Q's crocheted toyIn this scene, little Ramona clutches her crocheted elephant tightly with her stained blue hands. Wouldn’t you?

Ramona Q's crocheted toy 2We all know what happened to Sarah Polley, but what about that elephant? Where is it now? The set designer’s basement? An Ontario film studio prop room? Sarah Polley’s memento shelf?

Inquiring minds need to know.


Movie Still Monday: Billboard Dad

This week’s entry in the Movie Still Monday category “Famous Afghans” is the 1998 Dualstar straight-to-video feature, Billboard Dad, starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

If you’re ever wondering, does Shove actually WATCH these movies? The answer is YES.

All by myself, too.

Billboard Dad-ghanMary-Kate and Ashley like to watch movies too! But this one looks confusing and they have pressing questions…

Billboard Dad-ghan closeupSuch as: “Dad, how was this afghan constructed? In strips? Back and forth? What the hell kind of  yarn is this? Why did the set dresser feel this monstrosity was necessary to complete the scene? WHY, DAD, WHY?!!”

Movie Still Monday: Hobo With a Shotgun

This week, a still from Hobo With a Shotgun (2011), starring Rutger Hauer:Hobo with a Shot-ghanBecause even violent, fed-up hoboes need to snuggle up with crochet sometimes.