Knitmares and Craftholes: Falling Apart

The only way this is going to be my “New Look” is if I happen to “Fall” into a woodchipper. At least that way I won’t be caught dead in it — just strewn carelessly about in bits of bloodied flesh and a spray of wool-mohair blend.

Also note the corner photo:

“Vest to Traumatize” might be a more accurate caption for this pattern. If any child ever needed a mother’s concerned hand clasped to her clammy skull, it’s apparently this poor little tortured towhead.

“There, there, Amber; I know we’ve been modeling these 10 lb. vests for five hours and you’re feeling woozy, but the bad man with the camera and hot lights will go away soon.”