Rashes are Red, Violence is Blue, Here’s A Free Gory Pattern Just For You!

Oh goody goody gummy bears! It’s almost February, and that means Valentine’s Day! YAAAAYYYYY!!!

EVERYBODY LOVES VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

Oh, wait… no they don’t.

In fact, there are more than a few people out there who feel that February 14th is nothing more than a big sham designed to make singles feel like crap and keep greeting card companies in business. Keeping these folks in mind, this year I decided to come up with my own Valentine’s Day greeting to make and share with the ones you love… or loathe.

If you’re tired of getting the same old “Oh, I love it!” or “How incredibly sweet!” upon gifting your sweetums their usual, mass-produced Valentine, sit back and watch the lovely look of confusion strain their face when you plop this little sucker into their lap. Maybe you’ll even get a sexy lower lip quiver or a tear-filled eye in the process. HOT!

This little fellow works up pretty quickly, is crocheted back and forth (as opposed to rounds), and requires only a scrap amount of yarn .

Download the pattern PDF here!