Wherein Sir Terry Bollea (AKA Hulk Hogan) encounters a melon-thumping granny, ripe for the picking. Bet you can tell she’s a granny from those squares she wears, huh? Huh? This seems like a typical case of Hollywood ageism mixed with some severe craft stereotyping… real crochet-cism in action! I mean, when will these pesky movie PA’s realize that crochet is ageless — and more importantly — that an afghan does NOT a shawl make?
Baphomet was a symbolic representation of a deity supposedly worshipped by the secretive order of the Knights Templar during the 11th century, and more recently adopted by the Church of Satan in their religious iconography. When I received a commission for a “cutesy-fied” crocheted Baphomet figure, I knew I’d seen other “Baby-Baph” type plushies by various artists before and wanted mine to be different than the others with some added Croshame flair and detail.
So based off of this 1856 illustration from Eliphas Levi…
It was then I set about conjuring my tiny being into this world. After donning a fetching black robe, playing around with a bit of yarn, and ending with a loud “Shemhamforash!”, there came forth from my hands the new horned God I dubbed
His arms, pointing both towards the sky and the ground, read “Solve” and “Coagula” (needle-felted into the crochet).
This literally translates into “dissolve” and “create,” but is also interpreted to signify the path of all knowledge:
“As above, so below.”
From his head, between the horns of virility, emerges a flaming torch (crafted from tufted yarn strands) — the magical light of universal equilibrium, natch.
Baphomet’s wings represent the flight of the liberated soul. (Of course you already gathered that from the hand-sewn felt, yes?)
Baphomet, ever the amazing androgyne, bears both crocheted female breasts and a needle-felted phallus, shown as a wingless caduceus representing eternal life.
His hoofed goat legs have wire inside so he can sit, cross-legged, or stand — as ritual dictates.
Baphomet is the light bearer clothed in the disguise of evil.
Evil and unbelievable cuteness!
I’m proud to introduce two new members of my Croshame family, each accompanied by their own irritating Christmas poem!
One reindeer too many. Oh, what to do?
Bring him round back and grab the shotgun, too.
Instead let’s stuff and mount him, our little Braindeer.
But they’ll be no visions of sugarplums for this guy tonight.
Over the mantle with care, in silence he’ll hang
Keeping watch over Christmas and bringing in 2014 with a bang.
(AVAILABLE AT THE ETSY STORE HERE)
When a flock of wild fowl went after his eyes.
and tore his orbs out, each one plucked from its socket.
and his eyeholes, they glistened like cranberry jelly.
Goodwill towards man is NOT for the birds.
(AVAILABLE IN THE ETSY STORE HERE)
All this week get 10-20% off select items at the Croshame Etsy store! Just look under the shop section “SEASONAL ANXIETY SALE” for marked down pieces. (Sale will end next Monday, December 9th.)
Looking for the perfect way to avoid that big-box shopper stampede while giving a unique gift and supporting handmade art? Well, just in time for this year’s Christmas consumerism feeding frenzy, the Croshame Etsy store is being stocked for the holidays!
Most of the Croshame “classics” are either presently in stock or can be custom ordered and made especially for you and yours this season! I’m currently working on a couple of new Christmas-themed pieces that I will unveil shortly, as well as preparing to set up a week-long holiday sale closer to December.
I’m also accepting commissions this year, but keep in mind that special order requests can take some time to complete, so please try to get your orders in early to ensure they arrive in time for your particular celebratory occasion. Thanks everyone!
(Click the sassy new banner above to visit the store!)
If only everyone could just be as creative with their costumes.
Happy Samhain, everyone!
Some stills from the 1957 Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode “The Glass Eye” starring Miss Daisy herself, Jessica Tandy.
Barty + Shatner + Tandy x Ventriloquism + Crochet ÷ Hitchcock = Happiness
Watch the episode here:
[hulu http://www.hulu.com/watch/48281 width=600]
Socialite Patricia Hearst is most famously known for being kidnapped by the radical guerilla group The Symbionese Liberation Army in the mid 1970s, held captive for several months against her will, and brainwashed into becoming a tool for their violently militant, left-wing cause.
After myriad misadventures, crime sprees and rabble-rousing, Hearst was captured and imprisoned for over a year in a California correctional facility, during which time she was evaluated, analyzed and “deprogrammed.” During her time served, she suffered from malnutrition, a collapsed lung and much public ridicule and resentment.
But through all her ordeals, Patti kept herself sane. How, you ask?
The power of crochet.
One of the greatest record stores in the country, Denver’s Twist and Shout Records, just celebrated their 25th anniversary! Being a former employee and huge fan of the store, I decided to make a token of my appreciation to the store owner, Paul Epstein, pictured below.
Ladies and gents, it’s the Paul Doll!
He even comes with its own detachable (felt) vinyl record… in mint condition, of course!
Paul is not only a great guy and an awesome boss, but he also owns a really amazing store with many incredible and extremely knowledgeable employees ready to help you with even the most obscure questions. So if you’re in the Denver area, stop by and browse their magnificent collection of music, movies, books and toys. And hey… tell ’em Croshame sent ya!
I grew up reading Beverly Cleary’s Ramona books pretty religiously, so when PBS released a television show version of the stories in 1988 starring a young Sarah Polley, I was super excited and watched every episode.
But little did I know that over 20 years later, I would be re-examining the show and caring more about her stuffed animals than the actual story line.In this scene, little Ramona clutches her crocheted elephant tightly with her stained blue hands. Wouldn’t you?
We all know what happened to Sarah Polley, but what about that elephant? Where is it now? The set designer’s basement? An Ontario film studio prop room? Sarah Polley’s memento shelf?
Inquiring minds need to know.
This week’s entry in the Movie Still Monday category “Famous Afghans” is the 1998 Dualstar straight-to-video feature, Billboard Dad, starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
If you’re ever wondering, does Shove actually WATCH these movies? The answer is YES.
All by myself, too.
Such as: “Dad, how was this afghan constructed? In strips? Back and forth? What the hell kind of yarn is this? Why did the set dresser feel this monstrosity was necessary to complete the scene? WHY, DAD, WHY?!!”
Re-introducing a new/old/renamed segment, formerly known (one time only) as Hookin’ at the Movies, now known as Movie Still Monday! This way, if I call it “Movie Still Monday” I figure I’ll be forced to keep up with it on a weekly basis, or at least until I run out of stills.
This week, a still from Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Holy Mountain (1973):
Oh well, that’s magical realism for you.
The Etsy store has been reopened. Please feel free to purchase items to your heart’s content! (Click image below to get to shop listings)
I’m also considering customers’ commissions once again; for details please see the “Commissions and Sales” page here: https://croshame.com/sales-and-commissions/
Exciting news, everyone! My Spock Ears pattern is featured in the newly released book The Star Trek Craft Book: Make it So! now available through Pocket Books, a division of Simon & Schuster.
Although I haven’t gotten a chance to flip through a physical copy yet, I can guarantee it will be a treat for both Trekkies and crafters alike — particularly crafting Trekkies! They really get to experience the Best of Both Worlds, if you know what I mean…
Hi everyone. I’m sorry for the dearth of posts lately; you can blame my hectic schedule, lack of motivation, and need for an actual social life. Because things have been pretty busy for me lately, I will be taking a short vacation from making Croshame figures for about a month or so and have put the Etsy store on Vacation mode temporarily.
I will try to post more next month; I do have some exciting news which I will be sharing tomorrow, so stay tuned!
Last week I traveled back to my hometown of San Francisco, flying out of and back into the Denver International Airport (DIA). Before my departing flight, as I was on my way to the TSA checkpoint alongside one of those people-mover treadmill thingys, I came across a large display of work from local Colorado craftspeople.
The start of the exhibit had a piece done by Denver’s very own Ladies’ Fancywork Society, whose needlecraft work I have seen and admired all over the city since I first arrived back in August.
Needless to say, I was both excited and intrigued as I made my way past the various cases filled with examples of knitting, crochet, sewing, felting and other crafts.
Oh happy day, what a little paradise!
The space provided seating, knitting needles (huge ones!) and a crochet hook, with little cans of yarn and hooks on which to hang the finished work. Several people had already made and hung their donations.
So that was satisfying and all, but on my trip back I decided I really wanted to show my appreciation to the Denver Airport and the Ladies Fancywork Society for giving the public a crafty respite, so on my plane ride back from San Francisco I made a pretty straightforward crocheted “Thank You” card.
Going to SF was like a big chocolate cake, being back in Denver was the yummy icing, but putting my piece up in DIA was the big red cherry on top!
Wherein I share stills from (oftentimes unwatchable) movies, miniseries and TV shows displaying hilarious, dubious or questionable crochet tendencies.
From A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song :
Ooooh… no thanks. Socks crocheted by Lucy Hale sound about as appetizing as a macrame bra made by Selena Gomez.
With a new year comes new changes, and this year that adage also applies to Croshame. There will be several differences in the way Croshame operates in 2013, specifically because I’m going to be working on several big projects this year, but also because I’d like to concentrate more on making more fine art and creating new Croshame pieces.
NEW PIECES: Although I will still be making new Antigurumi characters and posting them here on croshame.com, I will no longer be making those featured pieces available for sale through the Etsy store. Don’t fret; there are still a plethora of “classic” Croshame characters that will be available.
COMMISSIONS: I will no longer be accepting commissions, at least for a while.
PATTERNS: I probably won’t be releasing any new patterns this year. This is partly related to one of the aforementioned “big projects” I’m working on, but I won’t mention anything else about that until things are a bit more fully formed.
Thanks to everyone for making 2012 a great year for Croshame! Here ‘s to a 2013 filled with many crass crafts and lotsa laughs.
Bonjour, mes amis! This is the luckiest day of the rest of your life, because you get to meet two entertaining guys who are always sure-fire crowd pleasers. Straight from 18th century France…
…it’s Gilly the Guillotine and his BFF, Henri the Executioner!
These two are simply inseparable.
Although he takes his job very seriously, Gilly can be a hysterical cut-up with his razor-sharp wit and ribald (sometimes offensive) humor.
Before getting his executioner’s degree, Henri worked as a foot-corn harvester and briefly as an au pair.
Beheadings and near-decapitations are only part of the fun Gilly and Henri have together. Their favorite BFF pastimes include jokes, farting, fart jokes, berry-picking and imagining what clouds look like.
One thing’s for sure: capital punishment has never been so lovable.
Awwww’f with their heads!
Although I’m an ardent cinema lover, I can be a pretty stubborn little mule when it comes to watching certain movies. I generally try to steer clear of most westerns, serial killer movies directed by Ulli Lommel, and just about anything with Vin Diesel in it. And for about 20 years, I avoided the Quentin Tarantino movie Pulp Fiction, telling people, “The only way I’ll watch that film is if someone pays me.”
Well, someone finally paid me.
I was recently commissioned to recreate Uma Thurman’s character Mia Wallace, specifically from the scene in which she’s revived from an accidental heroin overdose with a giant shot of adrenaline.
So, yes, I finally caved in and saw the damn thing. And no, it wasn’t so bad (particularly whilst reassuring myself it was only for research). After watching, pausing, and re-watching Uma Thurman being impaled with a syringe by a doughy, greasy-haired John Travolta, I came up with the following figure…
More photos of “A-Mia-gurumi” can be found at my Flickr page here.
Getting into a scary-looking costume, wearing massive amounts of theatrical makeup, smearing blood all over yourself and scaring the living shit out of people is a damn good time indeed. It’s also what I call a Tuesday. But because Halloween is (possibly) the one day of the year that I can step outside and be myself knowing I won’t be harassed or have trash thrown at me, I still have a soft spot in my heart for the old girl.
So what better way to commemorate the festival of Samhain than to give all my readers a free pattern in celebration of that most wonderful time of the year? Yes, yes, there’s always the oh-so-spooky neo-tradition of donning a skin-tight “sexy” maid or cat outfit and drunkenly vomiting in public… but we all know an Antigurumi crochet pattern is much more satisfactory, right? Uhh… right?
Putting the “fun” back in “funeral” and the “me” back in cemetery, I present to you…
©2012 Shove Mink / Photos: Chuck McNary
*Feel free to make these as decorations, costume embellishments, or as gifts to friends — but please, please, please!! For the love of all that’s hallowed, do not sell or distribute this pattern or sell finished products made from the pattern. (I swear it will haunt you to the grave — the real, final, stone one.)
- Size “F” (3.75mm) crochet hook
- Worsted weight yarn in light grey, brown, green, and off-white
- Felt in dark grey
- Fabric glue
- Sharp scissors
- Tapestry or yarn needle
- Tracing paper and pencil
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
hdc – half double crochet
rnd – round
rs – right side
sc – single crochet
st – stitch
ws – wrong side
yo – yarn over
Popcorn (Pop): Make 3 dc in the same st. Drop loop from hook, insert hook from front to back into first dc made, pull loop through and ch 1.
Reverse Popcorn (RevPop): Make 3 dc in same stitch, drop loop from hook, insert hook from back to front into first dc made, pull loop through and ch 1.
Loop stitch (Loop st): Insert hook into st and form a loop of yarn around your finger. Moving over the front and around the back of nearest facing side of the loop, grab the farthest facing side of loop with your hook and pull through st (2 loops on hook), yo and pull through both. (Confused much? The effervescent June Gilbank of Planet June has an excellent loop stitch video tutorial available here, which is much easier to understand than written directions.)
TOMBSTONE (make 2)
With light grey:
On one of the tombstones, leave about a foot-long tail before chaining.
Row 1. Sc into 2nd ch from hook and continue to end – 10
Rows 2-12. Ch 1, turn, sc 10 across
Rows 13-14. Ch 2 (counts as first hdc), turn. hdc 1, dc 2, tr 2, dc 2, hdc 2.
Bind off and weave in all ends EXCEPT the foot-long beginning tail. Holding both parts of tombstone together, use beginning tail to sew together along sides and top, leaving bottom open.
Trace tombstone shape (along the interior of seam) onto cardboard, cut out and place inside tombstone opening.
Cut out the letters “RIP” from dark grey felt and glue to front of tombstone.
DIRT AND LAWN
Row 1 (rs). Dc in 4th ch from hook, dc in next, pop, dc 3, pop, dc 3.
Row 2. Ch 3 (counts as first dc), turn, RevPop, dc 3, RevPop, dc 3, RevPop, dc in top of turning ch.
Row 3. Ch 3, turn, dc 2, pop, dc 3. pop, dc 3.
Rows 4-9. Repeat rows 2 and 3.
Do not bind off.
Attach green yarn with rs facing up and towards you.
Row 7. Ch 1, but do NOT turn. Sc 1 in each st around both sides and top, making 3 sc in each corner.
Row 8 (ws). Ch 1, turn, and loop st around, making 3 loop st in each corner.
Row 9. Ch 1 and turn. Holding loops down, sc around, making 3 sc in each corner.
Rows 10-11. Repeat rows 8 and 9.
Bind off, weaving in ends of green yarn and leaving tail of brown yarn.
Take brown tail and sew tombstone bottom (through both sides) against the open end of dirt.
Snip loops and trim to give the lawn a grassier look.
Sc 6 in magic ring (or ch 2, sc 6 in 2nd ch from hook).
Rnds 1-10. sc 6
Stuff and bind off, leaving tail.
Attach off-white yarn to round 1 of arm, then:
[Ch 5, turn, sc 4, sl st in next st] 3 times, then sl st in st below on rnd 2, sl st in next st, ch 4, turn, sc 3, sl st in next st.
Bind off and weave in ends.
Take arm tail and attach open end to the middle upper side of the dirt.
To build a teeny yarn cemetery, make multiple graves and sew them together along the sides with green yarn.
If you need additional angles for reference, more Graveyarn photos can be found at my Flickr page here.
Don’t forget to keep the holiday safe! Go out at night in pairs. Keep away from gang colors. Don’t buy masks from the Silver Shamrock Novelties Company. And make sure to take those razor blades out of the Snickers bars BEFORE giving them to trick-or-treaters.
And above all… have a HAPPY, JOYOUS HALLOWEEN!
I know I will.
I will have a piece in this year’s Plush You exhibit, held at Schmancy Toys in Seattle, WA!
I really wanted to make three pieces, but with my out-of-state move and resettling (not to mention a violent bout of brutal food poisoning), my hectic schedule only allowed me to finish one piece, which I call The Bunny Trio.
The big opening reception happens tomorrow, October 12th from 5-9pm, at Schmancy Toys. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend, but if you’re in the area please stop by and support all the fabulous artists. There will be tons of impressive pieces by some of the biggest and most talented names in plush.
As some of you may have read in a previous post, I took some much-needed time off from Croshame to make the move from San Francisco to Denver. It’s been a crazily busy couple of months, but now that I’m somewhat settled and have gotten my yarn and supplies out of storage, I’m ready to start crocheting again.
The Croshame Etsy Store has been reopened, and I’m set to start taking orders and commissions. Anything that’s marked “Ready to Ship” in the listing title is precisely that — a finished product that’s eager to make its way onto your doorstep ASAP.
HOWEVER — if you would like to order something marked in the listing title as “CUSTOM” or you’d like me to make you a special request or commission to be shipped out by the holidays, please get your orders in by November 7th. (Or if you don’t give a toss about Christmas, just order them whenever!)
Unfortunately I have very limited time and arm strength this year and won’t be able to work my crazy speed-crochet magic as I have in years past, so please remember that my two doozies, the Krampus figure and the Exorcist Playset, as well as more specific commissions, can take at least 2-3 weeks to complete.
I’m also hoping to make some neato-keen changes to the site and additions to the gallery and catalog in the upcoming months, so there will be all the more Croshame to love…