Although I’m an ardent cinema lover, I can be a pretty stubborn little mule when it comes to watching certain movies. I generally try to steer clear of most westerns, serial killer movies directed by Ulli Lommel, and just about anything with Vin Diesel in it. And for about 20 years, I avoided the Quentin Tarantino movie Pulp Fiction, telling people, “The only way I’ll watch that film is if someone pays me.”
Well, someone finally paid me.
I was recently commissioned to recreate Uma Thurman’s character Mia Wallace, specifically from the scene in which she’s revived from an accidental heroin overdose with a giant shot of adrenaline.
So, yes, I finally caved in and saw the damn thing. And no, it wasn’t so bad (particularly whilst reassuring myself it was only for research). After watching, pausing, and re-watching Uma Thurman being impaled with a syringe by a doughy, greasy-haired John Travolta, I came up with the following figure…
More photos of “A-Mia-gurumi” can be found at my Flickr page here.
Getting into a scary-looking costume, wearing massive amounts of theatrical makeup, smearing blood all over yourself and scaring the living shit out of people is a damn good time indeed. It’s also what I call a Tuesday. But because Halloween is (possibly) the one day of the year that I can step outside and be myself knowing I won’t be harassed or have trash thrown at me, I still have a soft spot in my heart for the old girl.
So what better way to commemorate the festival of Samhain than to give all my readers a free pattern in celebration of that most wonderful time of the year? Yes, yes, there’s always the oh-so-spooky neo-tradition of donning a skin-tight “sexy” maid or cat outfit and drunkenly vomiting in public… but we all know an Antigurumi crochet pattern is much more satisfactory, right? Uhh… right?
Putting the “fun” back in “funeral” and the “me” back in cemetery, I present to you…
©2012 Shove Mink / Photos: Chuck McNary
*Feel free to make these as decorations, costume embellishments, or as gifts to friends — but please, please, please!! For the love of all that’s hallowed, do not sell or distribute this pattern or sell finished products made from the pattern. (I swear it will haunt you to the grave — the real, final, stone one.)
- Size “F” (3.75mm) crochet hook
- Worsted weight yarn in light grey, brown, green, and off-white
- Felt in dark grey
- Fabric glue
- Sharp scissors
- Tapestry or yarn needle
- Tracing paper and pencil
ch – chain
dc – double crochet
hdc – half double crochet
rnd – round
rs – right side
sc – single crochet
st – stitch
ws – wrong side
yo – yarn over
Popcorn (Pop): Make 3 dc in the same st. Drop loop from hook, insert hook from front to back into first dc made, pull loop through and ch 1.
Reverse Popcorn (RevPop): Make 3 dc in same stitch, drop loop from hook, insert hook from back to front into first dc made, pull loop through and ch 1.
Loop stitch (Loop st): Insert hook into st and form a loop of yarn around your finger. Moving over the front and around the back of nearest facing side of the loop, grab the farthest facing side of loop with your hook and pull through st (2 loops on hook), yo and pull through both. (Confused much? The effervescent June Gilbank of Planet June has an excellent loop stitch video tutorial available here, which is much easier to understand than written directions.)
TOMBSTONE (make 2)
With light grey:
On one of the tombstones, leave about a foot-long tail before chaining.
Row 1. Sc into 2nd ch from hook and continue to end – 10
Rows 2-12. Ch 1, turn, sc 10 across
Rows 13-14. Ch 2 (counts as first hdc), turn. hdc 1, dc 2, tr 2, dc 2, hdc 2.
Bind off and weave in all ends EXCEPT the foot-long beginning tail. Holding both parts of tombstone together, use beginning tail to sew together along sides and top, leaving bottom open.
Trace tombstone shape (along the interior of seam) onto cardboard, cut out and place inside tombstone opening.
Cut out the letters “RIP” from dark grey felt and glue to front of tombstone.
DIRT AND LAWN
Row 1 (rs). Dc in 4th ch from hook, dc in next, pop, dc 3, pop, dc 3.
Row 2. Ch 3 (counts as first dc), turn, RevPop, dc 3, RevPop, dc 3, RevPop, dc in top of turning ch.
Row 3. Ch 3, turn, dc 2, pop, dc 3. pop, dc 3.
Rows 4-9. Repeat rows 2 and 3.
Do not bind off.
Attach green yarn with rs facing up and towards you.
Row 7. Ch 1, but do NOT turn. Sc 1 in each st around both sides and top, making 3 sc in each corner.
Row 8 (ws). Ch 1, turn, and loop st around, making 3 loop st in each corner.
Row 9. Ch 1 and turn. Holding loops down, sc around, making 3 sc in each corner.
Rows 10-11. Repeat rows 8 and 9.
Bind off, weaving in ends of green yarn and leaving tail of brown yarn.
Take brown tail and sew tombstone bottom (through both sides) against the open end of dirt.
Snip loops and trim to give the lawn a grassier look.
Sc 6 in magic ring (or ch 2, sc 6 in 2nd ch from hook).
Rnds 1-10. sc 6
Stuff and bind off, leaving tail.
Attach off-white yarn to round 1 of arm, then:
[Ch 5, turn, sc 4, sl st in next st] 3 times, then sl st in st below on rnd 2, sl st in next st, ch 4, turn, sc 3, sl st in next st.
Bind off and weave in ends.
Take arm tail and attach open end to the middle upper side of the dirt.
To build a teeny yarn cemetery, make multiple graves and sew them together along the sides with green yarn.
If you need additional angles for reference, more Graveyarn photos can be found at my Flickr page here.
Don’t forget to keep the holiday safe! Go out at night in pairs. Keep away from gang colors. Don’t buy masks from the Silver Shamrock Novelties Company. And make sure to take those razor blades out of the Snickers bars BEFORE giving them to trick-or-treaters.
And above all… have a HAPPY, JOYOUS HALLOWEEN!
I know I will.
I will have a piece in this year’s Plush You exhibit, held at Schmancy Toys in Seattle, WA!
I really wanted to make three pieces, but with my out-of-state move and resettling (not to mention a violent bout of brutal food poisoning), my hectic schedule only allowed me to finish one piece, which I call The Bunny Trio.
The big opening reception happens tomorrow, October 12th from 5-9pm, at Schmancy Toys. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend, but if you’re in the area please stop by and support all the fabulous artists. There will be tons of impressive pieces by some of the biggest and most talented names in plush.
As some of you may have read in a previous post, I took some much-needed time off from Croshame to make the move from San Francisco to Denver. It’s been a crazily busy couple of months, but now that I’m somewhat settled and have gotten my yarn and supplies out of storage, I’m ready to start crocheting again.
The Croshame Etsy Store has been reopened, and I’m set to start taking orders and commissions. Anything that’s marked “Ready to Ship” in the listing title is precisely that — a finished product that’s eager to make its way onto your doorstep ASAP.
HOWEVER — if you would like to order something marked in the listing title as “CUSTOM” or you’d like me to make you a special request or commission to be shipped out by the holidays, please get your orders in by November 7th. (Or if you don’t give a toss about Christmas, just order them whenever!)
Unfortunately I have very limited time and arm strength this year and won’t be able to work my crazy speed-crochet magic as I have in years past, so please remember that my two doozies, the Krampus figure and the Exorcist Playset, as well as more specific commissions, can take at least 2-3 weeks to complete.
I’m also hoping to make some neato-keen changes to the site and additions to the gallery and catalog in the upcoming months, so there will be all the more Croshame to love…
(Also known as “Horses Shoot Horse, Don’t They?”)
Time to announce the winner of the first Croshame giveaway! The entrants were designated numbers chronologically in order of their purchases, then chosen via a Random number generator.
So congrats to the #1, Jenny, who had originally bought Grimm the Little Black Metal Dude. She will receive an Anton Crochet hat, a set of Croshame stickers, and a Crothulhu print!
A big thank you so much to everyone who made purchases from the Etsy store this month; you’re ALL winners in my book!
Yes, yes, giveaway! But first, let me tell you what’s new in the shop!
Next up, Wolfy Baby’s new distant cousin, Yeti Baby. Available here!
Last but not least, the popular “Anton Crochet” devil cap — as seen at Maker Faire! Found here.
OKAY! Now onto the GIVEAWAY!!
Starting today and lasting through the month of June, anyone who makes a purchase (within the U.S.) from the Croshame Etsy Shop will be automatically entered into the 1st Official Croshame Customer Appreciation Giveaway!
I’ve put together a prize package with the following items (worth over $50!):
- A Croshame sticker set, featuring adorable drawings of Wolfy Baby, Tuggin’ At My Heartstrings and other Croshame creations
- A Crothulhu print
- Your very own Anton Crochet Devil Cap (available in Small, Medium, or Large)!!
All you have to do for your chance to win is to buy something from the Croshame Etsy store! (Again, giveaway applies to orders made within the U.S. only.) Numbers will be assigned to customers in the order that they purchase items. If you purchase more than one item, you’ll be entered more than once! (Oh happy day.) The winner will be chosen via a random number generator and announced on the blog July 1st, and the winning entrant will also be contacted through their Paypal/Etsy email address.
So yeah, this blog has been a little neglected over the last couple of weeks… but there’s a good reason why.
I’ve been accepted into the Bay Area Maker Faire Bazaar Bizarre craft show!
Yes, coming up this May 19th & 20th at the San Mateo Event Center, Croshame will have its very own booth in the Bazaar Bizarre tent at Maker Faire. I’ve been busy as a bee on speed working my tendons into pulp to crochet up my old standard pieces as well as designing some new stuff that will be premiered at the Faire!
CRAFTS! INTERACTIVE EXHIBITS! ROBOTS! FIRE BREATHING DRAGONS! ADAM FREAKIN’ SAVAGE! There are going to be so many wonderfully creative and amazing displays, speakers, teachers and projects that there’s sure to be something for everyone. If you live in the Bay Area or Northern California area (or anywhere else in the world, for that matter), I highly encourage you to attend! Discounted “Early Bird” tickets are now available through the Maker Faire site.
Today marks the 18th anniversary of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain’s death.
My first reaction naturally was, “You want him to be dead, right?”, but the buyer assured me she preferred him alive.
Creepiest. Safety eyes. Ever.
That’s Flipper the San Francisco punk band. Not the dolphin.
Yes, Kurt was left handed. Sinister.
It just wouldn’t be 90’s grunge without holey jeans and Chuck Taylors.
“And I swear that I don’t have a gun / No I don’t have a gun.”
Sure you don’t, Kurt.
If only he could have picked up a better hobby than gun collecting…
The internet is a great place for many things: socializing with friends, finding historically inaccurate information, and looking at photos of kittens with infantile quotes written underneath them. But for all the eternal sunshine and endless giggles the information superhighway provides, there are just as many damp, dark, and disturbing corners filled with nightmarish imagery and unsettling ideas.
One such corner discovered and popularized by internet trolls some time ago was a phenomenon called Goatse. WARNING: If you’re unfamiliar with Goatse and have a low tolerance for the utterly repellent, I don’t recommend rushing out and doing a Google image search as it’s probably considered objectionable viewing material to 99.99% of the population.
Mr. Goatse seemed to get a pretty bad reputation fairly quickly, so to lighten up his persona a little, I’ve decided to create my own tribute to the “meme”-ory of this infectious image…
He’s all business in the front…
And all party in the back!
Awwwww… so cute!
Awwww… not so much.
Although I’m not expecting this one to exactly fly off the shelves (“Makes a great Easter or Mother’s Day gift!”), it is available in the Etsy store here.
They don’t call me Croshame for nothing, folks.
My work is featured in the UK magazine Simply Knitting this month!
They’ve put me in their “Knit One, Purl Fun” segment of the magazine that profiles unique and offbeat needlework designers. If you want your own copy and live in the UK, issue 91 is available on newsstands and stores until March 20th; if you live in the U.S. or elsewhere, you can purchase a copy here.
Being ostracized from society can be an agonizing affair, particularly on a day like February 14th.
Don’t believe me? Just ask…
THE ODD COUPLE!
To some, a Goth boy dating a Punk girl sounds like a subculture disaster waiting to happen.
Sure, their days are filled with drunken fighting, bad dark poetry and the occasional accidental overdose, but they still know that true love means never having to pretend you’re normal.
There definitely won’t be a marriage, children, or a white picket fence in their future…
but that’s the way they like it.
Someday they’ll be able to look beyond their vast differences, but for now these two star-crossed lovers are happily living out the phrase “Opposites Attract.”
From National Blog Posting Month to World Malaria Day, these newfangled kids and their internets seem to be obsessed with creating new daily and monthly celebrations you’ve probably never heard of before (some which may very well not exist next year). Well, I simply refuse to be left out of all this nonsensical dedicatory amusement, so I’ve designated February as Werewolf A-Were-Ness Month.
I actually made this designation about five years ago when I went on a February Werewolf movie binge — the first of many — and have been celebrating it as such ever since. Sometimes werewolves just don’t get the credit they deserve, squeezed behind vampires and zombies like some kind of second-class monster citizens. My private lycanthropic celebrations were somewhat vindicated last February when Hollywood released The Wolf Man remake, but this year I’m taking my message to the streets (the internet streets, that is) in the hopes of letting everyone in on the fun!
In celebration of this fine month, I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite Werewolf movie selections. I highly recommend watching them all in one 8-hour sitting to confuse yourself as thoroughly as possible.
#1: My Mom’s a Werewolf
Because let’s be honest: everyone needs a mother more monstrous than the one they currently have.
#2: Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf
(AKA Stirba: Werewolf Bitch)
Sexy Sybil Danning as a Transylvanian werewolf queen? Yes, please!
#3: I Was a Teenage Werewolf
I’ve been on a real Michael Landon kick lately, watching Bonanza in the afternoon, Little House at night and Highway to Heaven on the weekends. Now that it’s February I’ll turn up the Landon factor to “10” with a re-watch of this 1957 stinker!
#4: Werewolf of Washington
(Full movie online HERE!)
Dean Stockwell stars in this 1973 satirical tale about a reporter who changes into a cute white fuzzy-wuzzy fur-face and then becomes Press Secretary to the POTUS. Talk about a horrible transformation.
#5: Teen Wolf Too
If you’ve already been traumatized by the ending scene in the first Teen Wolf where that extra in the audience exposes himself, trust me, you’ll step into a whole new realm of ecstatic trauma watching this dreadful sequel. Bonus points if you watched every episode of the horrible cartoon as well.
#6: Curse of the Werewolf
A Hammer horror production starring the delightfully delicious Brit actor Oliver Reed as one of the fluffiest werewolves ever.
Oh, hey… and while you’re at it, why not bring home some Croshame Wolfies to love and cherish?
There’s the original Wolfy Baby!
And Teen Wolfy!
However you choose to celebrate Werewolf Awereness Month, make it a safe and happy one…
but watch out for that full moon on Feb. 7th!
Oh goody goody gummy bears! It’s almost February, and that means Valentine’s Day! YAAAAYYYYY!!!
EVERYBODY LOVES VALENTINE’S DAY!!!
Oh, wait… no they don’t.
In fact, there are more than a few people out there who feel that February 14th is nothing more than a big sham designed to make singles feel like crap and keep greeting card companies in business. Keeping these folks in mind, this year I decided to come up with my own Valentine’s Day greeting to make and share with the ones you love… or loathe.
If you’re tired of getting the same old “Oh, I love it!” or “How incredibly sweet!” upon gifting your sweetums their usual, mass-produced Valentine, sit back and watch the lovely look of confusion strain their face when you plop this little sucker into their lap. Maybe you’ll even get a sexy lower lip quiver or a tear-filled eye in the process. HOT!
Download the pattern PDF here!
Announcing two new, deliciously adorable additions to the Croshame Etsy shop!
Kitty Catsup! (Found here)
and Weiner Dog on a Stick! (Found here)
These two compliment each other wonderfully, but you might want to separate them at the table since they fight like a couple of bottles and sticks. They’re both nutritiously yummy and notoriously perishable, so grab them now while they’re hot!
The Etsy shop has been updated with two of my most popular (and previously unreleased!) Croshame pieces.
Krampus Time is Here Again! Available HERE.
And the Exorcist Playset! Available HERE.
Both sets currently listed are ready to ship, but if these sell I will be posting made-to-order listings. (Completion of each set takes about a week.)
Well folks, 2012 is now upon us!
I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid in the 1980s the 21st century sounded like some still-distant science fiction dream world our planet might never get to. I thought for sure we’d all be flying around in Jetsons cars by now, sending our holographic images into our friends’ living rooms and pushing on our retinas to watch embedded television. Well, the future is now, and I can’t say we’re too far off from all that, but the technological realities our modern age has come up with are pretty impressive and mind-boggling.
Or at least they would be… if Star Trek hadn’t come up with them first.
While we might not be traversing far-off galaxies, transporting ourselves onto to Klingon spaceships, or shuffling off to the holodeck for exasperating Sherlock Holmes RPGs, many of the objects people use today — cell phones, video conferencing, GPS devices, stun guns — were predicted by Star Trek many decades ago.
Well, Christmas has come and gone and you’ve already gotten all the fancy stun guns and tricorders and communicators your heart could desire, so why not try out some of that fabulous Star Trek fashion sense with my pattern for crocheted Spock Ears?
These little cuties will show off your nerdly Trekkie fanboy/girl status while also keeping your ears toasty warm! It’s a really quick little project that works up in under a half hour.
©2011 Shove Mink
The pattern is worked continuously in the round until row 11 (after which you will work back and forth). While an F hook was used for my particular ear size, you may have to go up or down a hook size to get a proper fit for yourself.
Worsted weight yarn in “flesh” color (Spock beige, Sarek tan, or Tuvok brown)
ch – chain
sc – single crochet
sk – skip
st(s) – stitch(es)
inc – increase
PATTERN: (make 2 ears)
Sc 6 in magic ring or double loop.
Round 1-2: sc 6
Round 3: [sc 1, inc] 3 times (9)
Round 4-5: sc 9
Round 6: [sc 2, inc] 3 times (12)
Round 7-8: sc 12
Round 9: [sc 3, inc] 3 times (15)
Round 10: sc 15
Row 11: sc 8
Row 12-14: ch 1, turn, sc 8 across
Row 15: sk 1st st, sc in next 7 sts (7)
Row 16: sk 1st st, sc in next 6 sts (6)
Row 17: sk 1st st, sc in next 5 sts (5)
Row 18. sk 1st st, sc in next st, sk next st, sc in next 2 sts (3)
Row 19: sk 1st st, sc in next 2 sts (2)
Row 20: sk 1st st, sc in next st (1)
Bind off and weave in tail.
Place “point” opening (after row 11) over the top of your ear and fold the bottom flap formed by the decreases on row 18 under your ear lobe.
If you want to get “authentic” (aka psychotic) with the look like I did, you can cut your hair into a sassy banged ‘do, shave the ends of your eyebrows off, fabric glue some gold rick-rack to the sleeves of a $5 Goodwill sweater, and ROCK OUT WITH YOUR SPOCK OUT!!
Hope everyone lives long and prospers in 2012!
Yes, that’s right — Krampus. Never heard of him? Well, children, grab a cup of egg nog, wrap a blankie tight around your shoulders and settle down in front of the fire while I tell the you the truncated tale of Krampus.
Krampus, also known as Schmutzli, Black Peter and Knecht Ruprecht, is the demonic, evil counterpart of Santa Claus, punishing naughty children by whipping them with a switch, chaining them up and carrying them off in a basket strapped to his back. During the 19th century, European (particularly Austrian and German) holiday cards would feature illustrated images of the devilish creature with the words “Gruss vom Krampus” (“Greetings from Krampus”) written across the front.
(Vintage Krampus card images and info courtesy of www.krampus.com)
Since the 21st century is filled with some of the most nasty, spoiled, and utterly disobedient children in history, I figured what better way for me to celebrate 2011 Winter solstice than to revive this delightful demon with a loving crocheted tribute!
My Krampus figure comes with his trademark accessories — plus some screaming, crying children.
The handy basket provides extra brat-hauling capability.
These little unfortunates will soon figure out their tears will only make matters worse.
A forked tongue and sharp teeth are invaluable tools for a holiday feast.
Winter demons need nipples, too!
But not to worry — everything will turn out OK in the end!
Grab your swords, man the longships and set sail for the Croshame Etsy store…
Viking Hats are now in stock!
Currently available in these colorways (click on the color description to get to the listing):
Hats are graciously modeled by our good friend and roommate Guy the skeleton, but they’ll probably sit much more nicely on a real HUMAN head, complete with skin, muscle and all that other good stuff.
I’m also willing to do a custom 2-color combo to cater to your particular favorite shades! Just drop me a Etsy convo and I can set up a reserved listing for you right away. (Orders usually take 2-3 days to complete but can take up to 2 weeks, depending on availability.)
I come bearing GREAT TIDINGS OF JOY!!
The Croshame Etsy shop is pleased to announce its new inhabitant:
The Papal Toilet Paper Cozy!
Tired of all those heathen T.P. cozies stinkin’ up the joint?
YOU NEED THE TOILET POPER!
Toilet Poper even comes with his own fresh T.P. roll included!
Available here! Order yours today and get it in time for the Holidays.
For a full demonstration of the Poper’s amazing abilities, be sure to watch the video below!!
There’s one disgruntled turkey who won’t be thanking anyone this year.
Have a good holiday, everyone!
I’m excited to announce that I will be featured in the upcoming Luvable and Hugable annual group show at Gallery Hanahou, December 1st to January 6th in New York City!
I’ve created five pieces for the show; since they needed to be “Hug-able”, I made them jumbo sized (all at least 12″ tall), and since they needed to be “Luv-able”, I made them more family-friendly than my usual pieces.
First, there’s Gibby the Orphaned Monster:
Next up, a big old Wolfy Baby!
There’s quite a buzz about Rugbee the Pugbee:
And last but not least, two figures from my Crocheted Friends Forever (C.F.F.) series.
And her pal Bree:
(Each sold separately)
If you can’t make it over to the show in person, Gallery Hanahou has posted a pre-sale catalog for early buying! The link is here: Pre Sale Catalog and the password is “welovehugging”.
If I remember correctly, there’s some big holiday coming up where people buy things as presents for others. Unless you’ve got some perverse fetish for being trampled by hordes of greedy Target shoppers, please consider purchasing your gifts at independent businesses and/or buying handmade!
A couple of months ago I was approached by an Etsy shopper who asked me to make characters from the 1978 Sidney Lumet film The Wiz. Being a total movie nerd, I immediately said yes, proceeded to watch the film about three times, and set about making the figures.
I made Dororthy (played by Diana Ross) and her little dog Toto:
The Scarecrow (played by Michael Jackson):
The Tin Man (played by Nipsey Russell):
The Cowardly Lion (played by Ted Ross):
And the Wicked Witch Evilene (played by Mabel King):
If you’ve only ever seen the original Wizard of Oz, do yourself a favor and “ease on down” to your preferred viewing source (because video stores don’t exist anymore) and watch The Wiz!